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You do realize everyone can see your status right?
No one is ever bored enough to start studying.
The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. At least, that`s what the restraining order says.
You are on the list of the many things I would do for a Klondike bar.
I don`t like people who can`t make fun of themselves. It means more work for me.
I`m not judging you, I`m just trying to guess what medications you`re on.
I’m not a comedian. I don’t tell jokes. I just tell the truth in a way it sounds funny.
I can`t believe we made a movie that is essentially giving the apes a blueprint on how to take over the Earth.
Why do people ask "what the hell were you thinking"? Obviously, I was thinking I was gonna get away with it and not have to explain it.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
Today I saw something that reminded me of you. But don`t worry, I flushed and everything went back to normal.
All I need to know about you is defined by whether you ask for a cup or a cone when ordering ice cream.
I’m moving to Africa. Apparently there I can eat for 12 cents a day.
I`ve always wondered is jellyfish are sad because there are no peanut butter fish.
So red or white wine with hamburger helper?