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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
my cross-eyed girlfriend left me today. She was seeing someone else.
roses are red , violets are blue , I got five fingers and the 3rd one for you ;)
Make sure your goals are unattainable so you`ll feel a little better about giving up later
People who walk down the escalator. Stop it, we have enough over achievers!
yelling at the referee that he made a mistake has never worked, No Referee has never turned around and said, "Why yes your are right silly me I did make a mistake, penalty denied, goal kick"
My goal is to move just enough each day that no one pokes me to see if I`m dead.
Likes doing tokyo drifts with the shopping carts when I round the corner of each isle at Walmart.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Is it wrong to ask someone with an eye patch "Was it all fun and games up to that point?"
I went somewhere earlier and saw a frog parked illegally and the poor thing got toad!!
What do you mean casual Friday does not mean drink wine and get drunk at work
I hate when Iām walking into the gym and the wind blows me into the liquor store.
If anyone lost a roll of hundred dollar bills,with a rubber band around it...I found the rubber band....
I felt really mischievous earlier so I bought a McDonalds and ate it at a KFC