Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
We have those sticky traps all around the house and I just found one moved clear across the room with all sorts of hair on it....so if anyone see`s a BALD mouse running around, it belongs to me
Happy third birthday to the tartar sauce in my fridge.
Alcohol. Because who really wants to remember last night?
According to these court documents, the way to a woman`s heart isn`t through her bedroom window.
I would leave my house a LOT more if I could take the couch with me and wear my pajamas.
I wonder how much a zebra would cost if you scan it…
The closest I`ve ever come to eating better is eating butter.
To make it stand, you wet it. To make it wet, you suck it. To make it stiff, you lick it. To get it in, you push it. Threading a needle isn`t easy.
Admit it. When you go to the zoo, the first thing you look at is the Camel`s foot.
Exercise by running up the street knocking on all the doors. - Jehovah`s Fitness.
If anyone ever tells you your dreams are silly, remember there’s some millionaire walking around who invented the Pool Noodle.
As I got older my six-pack turn into a keg.
I`ve noticed that the squirrels are gathering nuts for the winter. Couple of my friends are missing...
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
“Until death do us part,” means we will all be single in heaven, right?