Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wasn`t even going for broke. But I got it!
Imagine how frustrating it would be if Tic-Tacs were individually wrapped
Redneck word of the day : Asphalt. It`s your own dumb asphalt !!
Simmer down joggers running in place at a stop light, simmer down.
Patient: "The problem is that obesity runs in my family." Doctor: "No, the problem is no one runs in your family."
i feel naked without my mobile !
They don`t seem to abduct humans like they used to; looks like we are not the only planet with government science-funding budget cuts.
I watched my first silent movie the other day. The kids weren`t there.
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
If a tree falls on your Ex in the woods, and no one hears it, still get rid of the chainsaw just in case.
I was just thinking…Then I thought “why?”... So there will be no more thinking today.
The best thing about smartphones is that you don`t have to refold maps anymore.
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they`d have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.
A young man gets sent to jail,and gets put into a jail cell with a convict the size of the Incredible Hulk. After lights out, he hears a whisper from the top bunk."Let`s play Mommy and Daddy. Who do you wanna be?" Thinking quick, the man says "daddy." "Then come up here and suck Mommy`s d!ck."