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So when a couple gets engaged on Facebook for April Fools it`s okay to comment "hahaha" but the rest of the year it`s rude??
Whatever I did to make you hate me, Iād like to know. I have other people I can use that on.
Two knives taped together are not a suitable alternative to scissors.
Life is better when you can share it with a friend that has the same sick, twisted personality as yourself.
Our office just got a new conference table. It sleeps 20.
This guy keeps asking me to help pet his neglected, one-eyed trouser snake. What a sweet guy! I think he`s a vet. Ladieeees! A doctor!!
I get so confused when I`m about to watch a TV show or movie and "For Mature Audiences Only" appears on the screen. Can I watch or not?
Life is never more confusing than when three people get together to order one pizza.
To make a long story short quit right in the middle.
I will be back in 5 minutes, if I am not then please read this again! :D
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
Someone told me once that to have more confidence during sex, put in a live concert album while doing it. That way, you will hear applause every 3-4 minutes but I did it wrong. Accidentally put in a live concert album and all I heard was laughter!
They say you are what you eat, though... I don`t recall eating a sexy beast today
Marriage is a wonderful institution... but who wants to live in an institution?
I hate it when I meow at cats and they don`t meow back. Unbelievably rude