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"I`d hit that" -old people who drive
Every woman is beautiful in her own unique way. Sometimes it just takes the right amount of alcohol to see it.
“One man’s trash is another man’s treasure” would be a terrible way to let your child know that they’re adopted.
Who do you have to sleep with around here to sleep with someone around here?!
Imagine how freaked out the first human must of been on the first sneeze.
You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.
Just so I`m sure to make friends, I like to walk in the bar carrying a handful of phone chargers.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I don`t understand interventions. What`s the point of being told I drink too much by a room full of reasons why I drink in the first place?
I think I`m the drunkest person at this bed bath and beyond.
When you`re down about your body image just type "fat people" into Google images, always makes me feel better!:)
Never run after a man or a bus, there is always another one coming.
Frozen water balloon fights... not a good idea.
Its so cold out, I actually saw a gangsta with his pants UP!
I wonder if Brazil has a wax museum?