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All sex is safe sex if you keep your bright orange reflective vest on.
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Dear axe body spray, Could you Please put a suggested spray size on your deodorant bottles. Best regards, Asphyxiated girls everywhere.
That awkward moment when you go for a run and your boobs start to bounce up and down.......and you`re a guy.
ah... Crocs the 21st century version of the chastity belt
Bless me Father for I hit send.
thinking men should come with a carfax....
Hate having friends? Just chew with your mouth open.
According to my neighbor`s rooster, it`s 5am now. Also according to my neighbor`s rooster, we`re having fried chicken for dinner tomorrow.
If you are going to call the cops every time you spot me in your bushes I don`t think this relationship is going to work.
I hope when the machines take over the world they start by fixing my cable.
I always stop to help women who have broken down on the road. I don`t know sh!t about cars, but I do know how porn starts off. -Bfanch
So people buy cookie dough and bake it?.... What the hell?
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
Tip of the day: Don`t be a douche!