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So, basically Alexa is just some know-it-all with no actual job skills.
After years of commercials, I still have no idea what a Go Daddy is
Gray hair is the human body`s equivalent of low toner.
I get nervous after taking time off work, that in my absence my boss will realize how little I actually do at the office.
Alex, I`ll take WTF for a $1000
Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, if that doesn`t accurately describe my life I don`t know what does
Did you know statistically you`re more likely to be killed by a coconut falling from a tree than by a coconut stabbing you with a kitchen knife.
I am fluent in three languages: English, Profanity, and Sarcasm
It`s a small world, but I wouldn`t want to paint it.
I don`t know why I even bother chewing corn.
Are you reading this from a toilet? I`m writing this from one.
I can`t unfriend you because I really enjoy watching the disaster that is your life.
If you can`t read the bottom of the eye chart, spell something dirty. Eye doctors love that sh!t.
I was trying to think of something really deep to post on Facebook this morning. The Mariana Trench comes to mind.
Won’t go back in my bathroom until spider is gone! Web search for “spider life span” reveals I will be able to shower again in 1 to 2 years.