Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
If thought bubbles appeared above my head, I`d be screwed.
My wife and I toss a coin to settle arguments; heads she wins, tails I apologise.
In honor of St. Patrick`s Day, I`m going to create a hybrid of a four leaf clover and poison ivy and give myself a rash of good luck
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
If you can’t afford to go on vacation, you can always drink until you don’t know where you are!
The trouble with going out in the cold at my age is by the time I get all bundled up, I’ve forgotten where I was going.
I left a note in the break room at work saying I had found five bucks. I hadn`t found any money, but it was worth five dollars to learn which of my co-workers is a lying douchebag.
Show me a bunch of people with type A personalities, and I`ll show you a control group.
Who`s this "moderation" people keep telling me to drink with?
Don`t expect me not to hopscotch all over your house if you have fancy tiles.
If you have no internet history you silently admit wrong doing.
A worm is a pretty disappointing prize for getting up early if you ask me.
Some people you know was dropped on their heads as babies. Some were clearly thrown in the air, hit the ceiling fan, bounced off the wall and fell out the window.
Someone stole my identity and returned it 10 minutes later.
My ex-wifes facebook status said "I`m depressed and on the edge"... So I poked her!