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If the planet is 4 billion plus yrs old. Is 2017 really the correct new year.
Have you ever wondered what a job application at Hooters is like? Maybe they just give you a bra and say, “here, fill this out”.
Have you noticed that it`s only the married squirrels that hurl themselves in front of your car......
Some people should be ticketed for wearing spandex
Every morning I check my girlfriends horoscope to see what kind of day I`m going to have.
Am I the only one who thinks water has that taste that no one can describe?
We have so much in common. You want to travel and I want you to go.
Rough day! I have now completed the top 6 things off my to-do list ... Time to go get another six pack I guess.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
The human race is the only one that lets its idiots live a full life...
I feel sorry for people who don`t have dogs. I hear they have to pick up food they drop on the floor.
HR and I apparently disagree on what "debriefed" means.
If you`re feeling too good about yourself, go ask a 5 yr old to guess your age. That should even things out.
Facebook: Cause why drunk dial one person when you can drunk post the world?
The boss keeps talking about a company 401k … I don’t think I can run that far!