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Sometimes it`s nice to know karma is still a feisty little b!tch.
If you`re single and you know it hug your cat!
If they put beer in CapriSun pouches I could fit a lot more in my cooler. Just thought I`d throw that out there, people who invent sh!t.
I can`t wait to procrastinate.
Hate is too powerful an emotion to waste on somebody you don`t even like.
It was hard getting over my addiction to the Hokey Pokey, but I’ve turned myself around.
I live for two reasons. 1) I was born. 2) I haven`t died yet.
Some people see a glass as half empty. Some see a glass as half full. Most need to get a life & do something besides stare at glasses.
When in darkness, pray. If you pray and nothing happens, I think it is the high time you paid your electricity bill.
The only instant messaging I enjoy is with my middle finger.
Yes officer, I know my driving is not 100% perfect, but you have to agree that it is still pretty good for someone who is completely drunk.
If you don`t like the way I drive then get off the hood of my car.
Kinda hypocritical of me to complain about people who send mixed signals seeing as the mat in front of my door says "welcome"...
Conserve energy: How would you feel if someone turned you on and then left?
I heard recently on the radio that, "If a man looks at womens breasts for 10 mins a day he will add 5 years to his life".. Can anyone confirm this?!! If so what are we waiting for?