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Did anyone hear the one about the cross dresser? The happiest day in his life was when he finally got into his girlfriend`s pants.
The only Spanish phrase you need to learn is, "I know you guys are talkin sh*t about me."
Somehow, we`ve got to find a way to STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under.
They updated the Raggedy Ann doll to Swaggedy Ann. She comes with an iPhone, divorced parents, and 3 pairs of heelys.
Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Someone told me that I seemed a little more classy than usual. The only thing I can think of is they somehow found out I used a Target bag instead of one from Wal Mart to line my bathroom`s wastepaper basket.
Maybe cologne should come with a two sprays a day lock on it.
The guy below me obviously has never seen R2-D2.
My head says go to the gym. My heart says food.
I get so tired of the same old BS...can´t I get a little BS variety?
If you want to see exactly how angry a person can get, tell them to "calm down" when they`re already pissed off.
You’re not yourself today. I noticed the improvement immediately.
Live each day like someone else is paying for drinks
Sex Is Like Math: Add The Bed, Subtract The Clothes, Divide The Legs, And Pray To God You Don`t Multiply!
You know a woman really loves you when she vandalizes your car after an argument.