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Sometimes I get road rage standing in lines.
Meetings are 20% small talk, 5% what the meeting is about and 75% wasting everyone’s time.
On a scale of Doopers, you`re pretty Super.
My will has a list of friends not allowed to speak at my funeral.
How to live a happy life: 1)Do whatever you want 2)Don`t worry 3)Eat whatever you want 4)Don`t take advice from strangers on the internet
Ugh, I have an ingrown hair and it really hurts. This sounds like a job for medical marijuana.
Friendship must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, nudity, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
Fitbits are just like Tamagotchis, except the stupid little creature you have to keep alive is yourself.
My daily routine: Wake up, be awesome, go back to sleep.
I can`t remember if I have any repressed memories.
I`m no expert, but I`m pretty sure a lot of economic problems could be solved by extending the McDonald`s breakfast menu back out to 11am.
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
Looking forward to `Breaking Bad` merchandise. Especially the cook book.
Facebook is not all about likes and shares. . . Like and share if you agree.
Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you`ll be really far away from me with your motivational nonsense.