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The awkward moment when you’re running and your boobs are bouncing …. and you’re a guy.
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
Life is very funny, if you take the time to watch it.
Got kicked out of the hospital. Apparently the “head nurse” is just the one in charge of the other nurses.
I’m quite confident that the reason I’m single is because I didn’t forward that chain letter in 2003.
If you need some help at Home Depot and are being ignored, get on one of their step ladders.
I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and then six months later you have to do it all over again.
After a night of heavy drinkin’ there’s one thing I can’t stand… and that’s up.
If I was a Chinese millionaire I would change my name to Cha Ching.
Don`t be that guy that goes around saying "Don`t Be That Guy."
Whenever somebody said they did something "Like a Boss" I assume that they did nothing but took all the credit for it.
Donald Duck, saying screw you to pants since 1934.
Another year has passed. I`ve just about given up on the Mayans.
I wasn´t born with enough middle fingers to show you how I feel
Yesterday I saw something that reminded me of you. I almost stepped in it!