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It’s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
’Friday’ is my second favourite word starting from the letter `F`. :)
I start to feel really anxious when my work piles up. I never know what to ignore first.
Don`t talk to me until I`ve had my coffee, my breakfast, lunch, juice, dinner, and at least two glasses of wine.
Whoever snuck the s in “fast food” is a clever person.
Don`t get me wrong, this Chinese take-out is amazing. But I`ll be damned if they expect me to believe a chicken fried this rice
I never thought you could really guess too low whenever a woman asks you her age. I guess 6 was pushing it.
is wondering why books on "how to make women happy" arent displayed in the fiction section
According to WebMD I have déjà vu... but not only that, I also have déjà vu according to WebMD.
90% of parenting is just screaming at your kids to stop screaming.
When the coffee stops working it is probably the right time to start drinking.
They say you need to listen to what your body is telling you. But mine just points and laughs.
That awkward moment when you forget what you’re watching during the commercial break.
Cute things to put in a letter to your boyfriend/girlfriend; I adore you. You complete me. Must stay 500 yards away at all times.