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I have decided to stop doing things "Like a Boss" and will now do things "Like a Rhinestone Cowboy."
If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
Tomorrow I will live in the moment, unless it`s unpleasant, in which case I will eat a cookie.
It`s weird how in England the passenger drives the car
You can learn a lot from a person especially when you watch them through high powered binoculars, I`m just saying.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
Trust me ...... I can`t believe I`m still here either.
Iām taking care of my procrastination issues; just you wait and see.
It`s not that people use only 10% of their brains, it`s that only 10% of people use their brains.
Wives give sound advice. 99% sound, 1% advice.
My best stories always end with the words ... "and then I got the hell out of there."
The bad news: I took the wrong medication today. The good news: For the next 3 months I`m protected against heartworms and fleas.
There is no such things as ghosts. I know, I asked Santa Claus
What`s Forrest Gump`s password? 1forest1
Grammar. The difference between feeling your nuts, and feeling you`re nuts.