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Statistically, 132% of all people exaggerate.
It took dozens and dozens of flushes and a plunger, but my guinea pig`s funeral is finally over.
Seriously, how can it be considered stealing when my neighbor’s WiFi signal was trespassing in MY house? I’m the victim here!!
Ironically, Internet was made to save our time.
#Redskins QB Robert Griffin III back after surgery to reconstruct the ACL and repair the LCL in his right knee. He`s now RG 3.2
If I had any self control I`d probably eat that too.
I think there are great benefits in remaining strangers.
Cleavage is like the sun. You can look, but don’t stare.. Unless you’re wearing sunglasses.
My life is a constant battle of preventing my muffin top from becoming a pound cake.
I believe in love at first sight or as science calls it, "boners."
You`ve cat to be kitten me right meow.
My Status updates are so great people hit the like button twice
I broke a mirror now I`m looking at 7 years bad luck... but my lawyer thinks he can get me off with 3
People hiking with a giant stick never seem any better at hiking than the rest of us.
If someone farts at a poker tournament, no one will ever know who did it.