Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
How many "zero likes" do you have to get on Facebook before you realize nobody gives a crap about you
Whenever I open my fridge, my dog looks at me with a puzzled look and he thinks, “why don’t you eat all the food?”
Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?
Everyone wants you to "be honest" until you tell them how much they suck.
If women really knew what men think, there would be restraining orders on all men.
Instead of calling it the John, I call my bathroom the Jim. That way I can say I go to the Jim every morning.
Saw someone try and park a car for about 10 minutes. I didn’t see the person so I’m not going to assume what gender she was.
As soon as I figure out who drank my 2 cases of beer, I`m gonna try to figure out why I`m so drunk.
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
The first five days after the weekend are always the hardest.
My neighbor`s facebook movie is just a montage of me caught on surveillance video, stealing his newspaper every morning.
I will be responsible for my actions when my actions become more responsible.
The best part about being a pathological liar is flying my helicopter to my private island.
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
Who wants to go Smart Car Tipping?