Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is glad Christmas is near i sure need new coloring books and crayons ..
With everything going on lately... I`ve got a lot of serious thinking to do! Oops....Did I say "Thinking".... I meant "Drinking"!!
I wish I had Shazam for faces...
I don`t care if it`s a kidnapping/murder; if you tell me a monkey will be involved, I`m 97% more likely to participate.
Whenever someone asks me to sign their cast, I always write: ‘last warning, you have a week to get the money together.’
This idiot from Apple reckons that the "Temperature, iPhone needs to cool down" warning message has nothing to do with all my hot selfies
My short-term memory is my ONLY problem..... Well, that, and my short-term memory
Life is far too short to remove the USB safely.
I saw some footage of some polar bears drinking water today. It’s obviously fake. Everybody knows they only drink Coca-Cola.
I`ve been working with this alcohol free program for like six months and it`s really taken a toll on me ... I mean, I`m broke and as far as I`m concerned, they can buy their own alcohol.
cuss words = sentence enhancers
Deja Vu: When God thinks something is so funny he has to rewind it to show it to his friends
The best part about growing old with you is that I`ll always be the younger one.
Why be part of the problem when you can be all of it?
Why can`t things be simple like they use to be? I show you a bug I found, we share a snack pack, and then you`re my girlfriend.