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Some days are just not meant to be productive.
Your dating profile should be like house listings. 1. Sq. footage 2. Date built 3. # of previous owners? 4. Finished basement?
www.amish.com. How did this happen?
It`s so cold outside I had to put Jack in my Coke to keep it from freezing.
If you never jumped from couch to couch as kid to avoid the lava, then you missed out on childhood.
If you think my post are bad, you should see my choice in men.
When you upload photos to Fb, i`d appreciate it if you tagged your hot friends ... It makes stalking them MUCH easier, thank you!
Hey Journey, I stopped believing. What now?
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
“I demand a recount.” – Me, in a nugget dispute at McDonald’s.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
If you´re cooler than me, doesnt that make me hotter than you?
is a reasonably intelligent person who does moderately stupid things on a semi-regular basis.
I hate it when I`m trying to take a selfie and somebody calls my camera.