Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Cannibals don`t drink coffee ... They have a cup of Joe instead.
I`m pretty sure some of you just drag your face across the keyboard and hit send.
I swear Mosquitos have a chart of the human body they study before they leave their nest...They seem to always bite on the worst possible places.. It`s like they huddle up and make a plan: "Ok Sally, you take the toe knuckles.. Betty, you get the crack behind the knee, Mary, you take the ankles, and I`ll take the finger knuckles..Ready? Break!"
Why do I get the feeling that a lot of you are using Facebook as a substitution for prescription meds?
You know what`s really great about being a narcissist? Me.
My life is like a romantic comedy except there’s no romance and its just me laughing at my own jokes.
You know it`s time to get a girlfriend when you masturbate in different positions
A coworker just wrote "Retard" on the windshield of my car. It`s taken me over an hour to lick it off!
We must STOP the driver of that bus that everyone keeps getting thrown under!
Driving to work would be so much better if I didn’t always end up at work.
I dont need to control my anger everyone around me needs to control their habit of pissing me off!
Men wear the pants in the relationship but women control the zipper.
You have to PAY for a speeding ticket?! I thought it was a reward for beating other drivers..
My facebook has been rated PG for Poor Guy
Ran into a former supervisor from my last job today, kept driving.