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Sarcasm: because snapping a neck is frowned upon in a court of law.
All I`m saying is that the cheese grater wouldn`t have 4 sides if they wanted you to wash it after every use.
Boss: Are you high? Me: You and I both know that I don`t make enough money to have a drug habit.
For those who do not know what ADHD can do to a person, let me expla.....oooh look i got a text message.
I`m terribly sorry but I have decided not to grow up and act my age after all. So there.
Would stiff nipples be a good name for my air conditioning company?
You`re never too old to be spanked ...If you play your cards right.
When you are arguing with an idiot, make sure the other person isn`t doing the same thing.
Nobody texts faster than a pissed off female.
I got caught peeing in the swimming pool today... The lifeguard shouted so loud I almost fell in.
I just want you to be happy…and maybe a little bit naked.
Buying someone flowers is kind of a weird idea. Like: Hey, these are for you, now watch them slowly die, because I love you.
The longer I sit in this drive-thru, the more pennies I’m going to pay with.
My whole life is based on a true story...