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Next time a customer service rep asks “Is there anything else I can do for you?” whisper “Smile for the camera, I’m watching you” & hang up
Sometimes “Girl`s night out” means she has just taken her bra off
People like you remind me how lucky I am that my cell phone provider has a block option! Just sayin.
I believe in love at first episode.
Remember when there was more important crap to do besides Facebook all day? Me neither.
Homeless people should make more creative signs like "I bet you can`t hit me with a quarter...b!tch!"
My 2017 resolution is to stop thinking so much about the future.
My Boss requested me on facebook. I was like "pssst". If only he knew all the sh*t I post about his ugly @$$.
You might be a REDNECK if you think S.T.O.P. means spin tires on pavement!! :)) lol
So impolite of people to sneak up on you while you’re talking sh!t about them.
Reason number 347 why I hate Facebook: A guy from high school posted 11 new photos all with the caption "me"
It`s funny how this guy grating cheese over my pasta thinks I`m going to say stop.
I`ll tell you what`s wrong with modern society. Nobody ever drinks out of the skulls of their enemies anymore.
I hope this coffee gives me the energy to look busy all day.
I sometimes get road rage just pushing a shopping cart though a grocery store!