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“I don’t watch tv” proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
As you Mature... you learn that you cannot make someone love you.. All you can do is stalk them and hope they panic and give in..
Weird when someone vanishes from your Facebook feed for 3 years then suddenly reemerges with the results of a "Which Muppet Are You?" quiz.
Some people just need sympathetic pat.........on the head........with a hammer
I want the job where you push scared skydivers out of the plane...
You know what’s more annoying than cops? People who buy old refurbished cop cars and keep the spotlight attached. We all hate you.
Hell yes, I would love to get stoned to death. Wait, rocks?! What rocks?
Just in case you are wondering ... I did not go to Jared.
Today`s Big Idea: Coffee eye drops.
According to WebMD, people are Sick & Tired of me
Keep it up and I`ll make sure u end up on a milk carton.
Time to try some of this candy from the Easter "bunny"... Can`t trust anything you find laying in the yard these days.
I think it’s funny when dogs hide under the bed when they’re scared. I’m like “you idiot, that’s the first place monsters go!
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.