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It`s okay, Web MD. I don`t really know what`s wrong with me either.
Do people smoke e-cigarettes after sexting?
I want a firsthand test of the "mo money, mo problems" hypothesis.
I just don’t want to look back and think “I could’ve eaten that.”
"Hello Kitty" should have been a brand of condoms...
People who get offended on the internet are the same people that take mini golf seriously.
If your wife asks you if you know where the broom is, it`s not a good idea to ask her if she is going somewhere.
I`ll be drinking tell I see Leprechauns tonight.
I want to grow my own food but I can`t find any bacon seeds.
I suspects that whoever named that Icelandic volcano (Eyjafjallajokull) must have fallen asleep on their keyboard while thinking it up.
Pay no attention to the device around my ankle.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
Beer: Giving you the courage to talk to women but taking away the ability to make sense.
"I can`t wait to have you inside me," I whispered softly to my dinner.
Burglars must love "My Family Stickers". They can wait in front of someone`s house, count the people that leave, and know if they have a dog or not...