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I’m starting to think plates are called china because most of them look the same.
Ladies - I am still available as a great last minute Christmas gift!
If I have offended you, hurt you, belittled you in any manner, then I want you to know that I was only just getting started.
I`m not saying women are smarter than men, but it`s kinda ironic that there`s so few known women serial killers and so many unsolved murders.
People say that marriage is a job...marriage is not a job, its a hobbie!! Dating while you`re married...that`s a job!!
Find a penny pick it up and all day long you`ll have good luck. Or some kind of virus because pennies are dirty and gross.
Your selfie would be way better if you weren`t in it.
My kitchen is actually nothing more than a fruit hospice
The lady next to me in the elevator told me to press One. That was the last thing I remembered
Few people have the balls to admit when they`re wrong. Then again, few people have talking balls.
Is running in front of cars some sort of gang initiation for squirrels? - Bfanch
All I know about sex is from Internet Porn, I`ve tried everything except `Buffering`.
According to my childhood, 1 out of 3 pigs are excellent builders.
With my luck, I`ll die and get reincarnated as myself.
Tarantulas are like cigarettes. They are pretty much harmless, until you put them in your mouth and light them on fire.