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The secret of staying young is to live honestly, eat slowly, and lie about your age.
Let`s simplify this. Deliver a pizza to me every night unless I call.
can say whatever the hell I want as my Facebook Status, and nobody will be offended as long as I smile at the end. Example: I hate everybody today :) - LOL
This one isnt that funny, keep scrolling.
Its hotter than a three peckered billy goat!
Just had workplace violence training. It`s like HR doesn`t even care about the first rule of fight club.
It`s finally here! .. That time of year when my seasonal depression turns into just regular depression.
Hey, how long are you supposed to chase someone after they steal your wallet? Cause I`m getting tired of running and he`s catching up to me.
There’d be less accidents if there was a texting lane.
If your single and you know it…Pet your cat!
It`s that time of year again, to reflect and remember how much I love my tax deductions. Kids... I meant my kids.
Honey, You really don`t need to drive me crazy, I am close enough to walk.
NO, I didn’t say you WERE stupid. I said, you ARE stupid. There is nothing past tense about it.
:): The Bipolar smiley face
A penny for your thoughts, Five bucks if they’re naughty.