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I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
I`m not a doctor but I play one on Match.com
The only people who care about my college degree are the college loan people.
God is creative, I mean just look at me.
Guys are excellent cooks. With two eggs, a sausage, & a little bit of milk...they can keep a girl`s stomach full for 9 months.
Sometimes what sounds like opportunity knocking is actually disappointment leaving a flaming bag of poop on your doorstep.
If my body was a car, I`d trade it in for a newer model. Cause everytime I cough or sneeze, my radiator leeks and my exhaust backfires.
“I” before “E” especially after “P”. Mmmm pie
Guess what I saw today? Everything I looked at.
After four karate lessons, I can now break a two-inch board with my cast
Part of being sane is being a little bit crazy.
I don’t necessarily believe in karma, but I’m gonna be extra careful crossing the street after this weekend.
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
I don`t go on Facebook much so Dave, if you`re seeing this, thanks for the invite to your 2007 New Year`s party, hope you had fun dude.
Inspirational status: Today’s probably going to suck. Don’t be a little bitch and handle that sh!t.