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*Removes smoke detector battery *Cooks in silence
Don`t worry. Your secret is safe with me. I wasn`t listening anyway.
Before I get busy doing nothing, I am taking a 20 minute break.
Chasing your dreams is hard... especially when that damn alarm keeps going off
My friend on Facebook "Can`t believe its Monday again already"... if only there were some way for her to calculate the order in which days occur.
It`s amazing how important someone can make you feel with a smile, a kind word or the occasional stalking.
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
My worst ideas have all either started or ended with having no pants on.
Judging by the amount of times I accidently cut myself on sharp objects it`s probably just as well real lightsabers aren`t available yet.
Time travel means never having to say you`re sorry...
Drinking doesn’t make me post better Facebook status updates; it just makes me not care what you think of them…
Life would be perfect if: Mondays were fun, junk food was healthy, drama didn’t exist, and goodbyes were only until tomorrow.
I`d rather SH!T in my hands and clap!
I wonder if I could get a job as a babysitter if I referenced my Facebook group admin experience.