Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Saw a post stating "taking it one day at a time," so I responded "me too. That`s how days work."
I can`t wait for a empty Christmas wrapping paper tube to bonk someone over the head with!
I may love you...but everyone else thinks you suck! I was kidding... I think you suck too.
Goodnight friends, strangers, pervs, weirdos and a$$holes, and anybody else I left out.
Congrats on your secret admirer! Must be nice having someone who’s ashamed to admit they like you!
The only way I`m coming to your wedding is if you get Me a gift. You just found lifelong love, I think I deserve a blender more than you do.
Am I supposed to bring condoms to a speed dating event? How fast do these things actually go?
"Safely remove USB." Who does that?
Screaming out "BOOM PREGNANT!" during sex is never as funny as you think it will be.
I always try to behave but there are usually too many other options.
There`s a word for people like you and that word is "leave."
Never underestimate the power of the web. -Charlotte
Over 400 billion people a year are victims of exaggerated statistics.
If i had a dollar for everytime i was thinking about you, i would start thinking about you.
You bring a baby monitor to the bar one time and everyone freaks out.