Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and ten million dollars.
Guy asked me where a public phone was. I told him 1987.
If Plan A doesn’t work, the alphabet has 25 more letters. Keep calm.
Omg!! got 6 numbers on the Lotto.. and the stupid machine didn´t pick any of them
A good man can make you feel sexy, strong, and able to take on the world ...Oh sorry ...That`s wine ...Wine does that.
Sometimes I whisper, "I´m on your side" to the computers, just in case they ever succeed in taking over the world.
In my defense, your honor, he had the keyboard clicking sound on his phone turned on
It`s unfortunate that most people will never run out of things to say.
A lot of people cry when they chop onions. The trick is not to form an emotional bond.
Sorry for nicking your car with my door, but you didn`t leave much room. It`s small, but I circled it with my key so you could find it.
The guy who named the umbrella meant to call it a brella but he hesitated.
When I was a kid, my parents told me I could be anyone I wanted to be. Turns out, this is called "Identity Theft".
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
New documentary movie about white trash .... I only saw the trailer ....
The term "chubby chasers" is so inaccurate and misleading. Cause we don`t run.