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Chuck-E-Cheese, because it`s never too early to introduce your child to poor nutrition and gambling..
I bet the hardest part of working the poison control hotline is not finishing your sentences with "...you ignorant dumbass"
The right man will love you unconditionally, will be loyal, and will always be happy to see you. ... Oh wait, That`s my dog. My dog does that.
I don`t know if getting everything I want would make me happy, but the opposite is not working at all.
You know you’re working class when your TV is bigger than your book case.
Most problems can be solved with nudity.
Alcohol doesn`t make you fat, it makes you lean..........against tables, chairs, walls, and garbage cans.
So I harvested my tomato today, it`s bound to be good considering the $43.29 I invested to plant it.
One day I shall rule the World! Until then, I`m going to bed
Can anyone tell me how to become a illegal immigrant, their benefits are undeniably more superior to our own.
Nobody wished me a happy birthday today, which isn´t surprising really, since it isn´t my birthday.
A guide to hating people. Step 1: get to know them.
Alarm clocks should come with sounds like "tiny doll feet scampering into the closet" because I am not hitting snooze when I hear that.
I made the mistake of asking Siri what women want....she has been talking non-stop for the last 3 days.
Dropped my son off for his first day of kindergarten today. Does anybody know what age you`re supposed to pick them up?