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It’s called “Karma” and it’s pronounced [hah hah fuhk yoo]!!
Bathroom hand dryers are amazing if you want to kill a few minutes before wiping your hands on your pants.
Smile at the people who hate you. It makes them wonder what you`re up to. :)
One man`s sarcastic answer, is another man`s stupid question
Flies only live for 24 hours.. Except for the ones that get in your house. Those bastads live forever.
NERD WEDDING: Instead of saying “I do.” They say “I accept the terms & conditions.”
There’s a very short list of things you can have in your hand while running without looking crazy.
I`m going to go take a hot shower, it`s like a normal shower but with me in it
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
my phone battery lasts longer than relationships this days !
Do gun manuals haue a trouble shooting section?
I will be good today... I will be good today... I will be good today... Yeah.... I didn`t believe it either..
Apparently, I just ate 39 servings of Tic - Tacs.
Today I recently discovered how to make my p@nis 12"...I just fold that b!tch in half.
My home security system is just 15 motion-activated Big Mouth Billy Basses.