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If other employees are taking four fifteen minutes smoke breaks a day, I should most certainly be allowed a one hour nap time.
the dude who posted ”MERRY CHRISTMAS“ has still got his head shoved up the turkeys A$$ it seems...
Doctor says I`m morbidly a beast. Thanks doc.
After 20 yrs of marriage, my best move is to clean something unexpectedly.
Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.
is wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I´m awesome..
I went to buy condoms and the cashier just said "yeah right" and put em back on the shelf
Did the Baha Men ever find their dogs? Did they put up posters or just sing that song?
I try to conduct myself as a perfect gentleman whenever I meet a lady. Chicks dig that.
A court date is still technically a date, right?
The only idea worse than New Coke was brown toilet paper...
I`m in no shape to exercise patience!
If House of Cards has taught me anything it’s that I need a friend who owns a rib place.
Mattel is launching a new Facebook Barbie. She looks like a stunning hot blonde on the package but is an old fat guy when you open the box.
"Because it would be hilarious,"... is probably not a good reason to elect someone to be president.