Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
To those that manufacture and market tight, thin yoga pants to fit college girls; I love you man.
Guess when toothpaste was invented? 1892. Guess when kissing was invented? A DISGUSTINGLY LONG TIME BEFORE THAT.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
I had a terrible dream about mufflers and now I`m exhausted.
TEIAM - problem solved
I love Alfredo sauce ... Unless you`re a dude named Alfredo.
Making fun of someone you`re angry with is childish. Be an adult and hit them with your car, instead
Merry Christmas (I apologize if you`re not Christian). Happy Hanukkah (I apologize if you`re not Jewish). Happy Holidays (I apologize if you`re not happy).
Say what you want about the porn industry. But they are hard workers.
There I was, watching a advertisement when a YouTube video rudely interrupts it...
I eat my salad without dressing because who has time to put on clothes...
Gaining weight while you owe me money is a sign of disrespect.
Mix it up a little. Text a random phone number the following msg: "The fat one won`t fit into the woodchipper. What do you want me to do?"
I eat my gummy bears 2 at a time ..no one should die alone
What Iām really looking for in a friend is loyalty. And a pool. Mainly just a pool.