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Waffles are just pancakes with abs.
eBay sellers - just because you`ve dug your suit/dress out of the back of your wardrobe doesn`t make it vintage. #JustOldAndSmelly
Test drove a Jaguar today. Very fast but the ride was pretty bumpy and the saddle kept falling off. I also think he tried to bite me.
I have my own version of Whole Foods, where I eat the Whole Pizza, Whole Box of Donuts, Whole Bag of Chips...
If it wasn’t for caffeine I wouldn’t be a functioning member of society.
If no one from the future comes back to stop you, is it really that bad of an idea?
I swear my bed just whispered "Please Don`t go."
If you don’t like something change it... if you can’t change it....post it on facebook, so we can "like it" and laugh..
Best way to get a man to do something, is to suggest they are too old for it.
I hate it when I think I`m buying ORGANIC vegetables but when I get home I discover they`re just REGULAR donuts...
All i ever see on facebook is LBR, TBH, LMS, and all that other crap...
If you slept with my husband I`d be like "OMG how much do I owe you?"
My blood hound was just attacked by a Crip hound.
Dear autocorrect: at no point have I ever meant “ducking.”
I sneak alcohol into work because I`m a problem solver.