Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You want to piss off a woman? Hide one shoe.
Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can`t believe kids this age are already so polite.
I`m not trying to brag or anything, but I just got invited to play Candy Crush on FB
People that chew gum and drink alcohol what the f*ck is wrong with you.
I lost a very close friend and drinking partner last week. He got his finger caught in a wedding ring.
Some days the problem is I care too much... Today was not one of those days...
My girlfriend JUST spent the ENTIRE day arguing that she isn`t stubborn.. :|
It`s just adorable how the Liquor Store cashier always wishes me a good week as if I won`t be back tomorrow.
Somehow, hitting the "end call" button on the cell phone just doesn`t feel nearly as good as the old days when you could slam the phone down on somebody.
Statistically, 6 out of 7 dwarfs aren`t happy.
I copied and pasted your pic of what you ate...and got MORE "likes" than you did. :P
It`s damn funny when a wife think`s she`s punishing her husband by not talking to him for days..
I read that taking a long, hot bath can help with managing stress. Unfortunately my boss doesn`t approve.
at this point in life I break my life down into 2 time periods B.N and A.N....Before Netflix and After Netflix
If you grew up wanting to be a Plumber or a Pizza delivery boy, You watched too much porn as a kid.