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SINGLE GUYS: Nervous about flirting with a woman? Just remember: they`re smart, confident, and aware they don`t need us, so yeah, you should be worried.
A gun is like a coupon that works anywhere.
some people just need a hug...around the neck...with a rope!!
Tonight’s forecast. Mostly drunk with a slight chance of passing out.
The iPad Air is named after what`s left in your bank account when you buy one.
I want someone to look at me the way I look at chocolate cake.
Secret Admirers are just stalkers with good PR.
Life is what happens when you’re not looking at a screen.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something
When I see a cute couple making out I yell, ” I knew you’re seeing somebody else!” and run crying.
Reckon the first person to make popcorn by accident probably ran away
"You should`ve come with us!" well, inviting me would`ve helped..
You`re not unlucky. Bad things happen to you because you`re a dumba$$.
If women kept their feelings to themselves would they explode? Guess we`ll never know.
"Always leave them wanting more" is my new mantra when paying bills.