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I like to play fetch with my cat....which, you know, is just me throwing stuff,,, followed by disappointment.
Thought cartoons were getting better. Turns out it was a news story about Justin Bieber.
If cats had wings, they would still just lay there.
If every porkshop was perfect, we wouldn`t have hot dogs.
Women are fascinated by mythical creatures like unicorns, vampires, and men who are good listeners...
You`d think the chances of putting in a USB drive wrongside-up would be 50-50, but nope, 90-10.
Send prayers. Laura on Facebook didn`t realize she was out of syrup until AFTER the pancakes were made! It`s causing quite a stir...
Save water- shower with me!
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
is procastinating now. Don´t see why I should put it off.
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn`t been used at the liquor store since Friday.
Remember when you were a kid and all you would use the computer for was paint and space pinball?
Stop undressing me with your eyes!...Use your teeth!