Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Every woman in this world is beautiful...........except for the ugly ones!
If you don’t cuss when you drive you aren’t paying enough attention to the road.
I`m a beer enthusiast. The more beer I drink, the more enthusiastic I become.
I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.
I like to go to the bar and flip peoples license plates upside down, then go home and listen to my scanner.
If I would have known there would be a Facebook, I would have written "f*ck off forever" instead of "keep in touch" in your yearbook.
Every time I start to feel happy I remember the shingles virus is already inside me.
is currently amending my "Who gets money" list when I win the lottery ... who has something nice to say?
Peanut butter sandwiches taste better when cut in half diagonally...........Listen,, I don`t make the rules people.
There are so many scams on the Internet now. Send me $19.95 and I will tell you how to avoid them.
How to cuss a kid out... "Shut the fudge up you little astronaut! You son of a batch of cookies! What the helicopters are you doing?!"
If I liked one of your pics from 12 weeks ago, doesn`t mean I`m stalking you...It just means you haven`t looked nice in awhile
I swear, if one more person calls me an alcoholic they are getting a high five too.
If you don`t like my facebook posts, feel free to delete me and solely visit your friends` pages where the big news of the day is when their grandkids finally took a $hit all by themselves.
It’s interesting how the ads on Youtube never have trouble buffering.