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Happy Saturday… the day you can put as much booze into your coffee as you’d like to put in on Monday.
FYI: Taking permanent marker and writting Aeropostale on Fruit of the Loom tee shirts will NOT fool your teenager.
Whoever is bringing me the 3 dozen donuts each morning, thank you. But could you just leave them on my desk and not in the break room?
It`s never too late to follow your dreams. Unless your dream is to be a child actor, in which case yes, it`s too late.
This skinny girl just told me she "forgets" to eat? Is that possible? I just licked her face in case it`s contagious.
If I ever only have 3 months to live, I want my ex wife to be with me. That would be the longest 3 months of my life.
When I was your age we had to open all doors by ourselves ... None of them knew we were coming.
So Monday and Tuesday sucked. But, with the right mix of caffeine, alcohol and mushrooms, Wednesday doesn´t even have to happen at all.
Helped my kid pick out a "famous past explorer" for a class assignment. Hope no one else in her class picks Internet Explorer 6.
My blind neighbor sure does take his dog on a lot of walks...
I`m not funny, I`m just really mean and people think I`m joking.
Why do they call a status a status if it already happened? I mean, shouldnt it be called History?
Few things are harder to put up with than the annoyance of a good example.
For your final meal request to eat the electric chair and then the warden will be like well now what do we do he ate our electric chair
"That girl is totally checking you out" said vodka. -Bfanch