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is 100% sure that you are looking at my status. (:
Let`s talk about how fabulous u think I am.
Your outfit says you work in an office, but your shoes say it might have a pole in it
I was visited by three spirits last night, Vodka, Rum And Gin. . .
I think the tie was invented by someone who wanted to express how he felt about work but thought an actual noose was too obvious.
Relationship status: Runs alone at night in hopes of being abducted.
That awkward moment when you gently toss your phone on the bed and it bounces off 3 walls, breaks 2 lamps and kills a cat...
The trick to falling asleep is putting your phone down. Unfortunately, that`s not a risk I`m willing to take.
Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
If I get an e-mail from you that says "Sent from my Blackberry" at the bottom, please understand that I`m not going to respond. I can only assume that you sent it in 2006.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
I wish I was a jedi, but mostly just so I didn`t have to bend over to pick up dog poop.
You know you are the ugly one if they ask you to take the photo.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.