Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I keep myself in good enough shape to outrun most women and children during emergencies.
" I don`t watch much tv" proudly says a person who spend 8 hours a day on the internet.
Some people just need a high five. In the face. With a chair.
I`m glad I`m me, I don`t think anybody else could take it.
Don`t you hate it when someone answers their own questions? I do.
Abbreviation is an unnecessarily long word.
You are by far my smartest and best looking friend on Facebook.
The computers were down at work today, so we had to do everything manually. It took me twenty minutes to shuffle the cards to play solitaire.
Is it bad when I´m talking to myself and I´m not even listening?
Maybe this comment wont be important for you guys here. Some of you will ignore it, most of yall wont bother to read and it`ll go unnoticed along with some others. maybe I`ll be criticized for this but I just want to let yall know I`m selling potatoes
The only stock options I have are chicken and beef.
Took the ice from my ice bucket challenge and put it in my whisky.
I found that 99% of the time, when I`m not listening, just saying "that`s some bullshi*t" makes them happy.
I thought we had something. You met my family, made me dinner, called me honey. Now suddenly you’re a “waitress” who was “doing her job?”
I googled "cigarette lighter" and got 150000 matches.