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Kiss me I`m Irish, put a little tongue in it, I`m French too
what if the princess wants to be with bowser, but mario keeps kidnapping her
Wow.. I didn`t know spandex could hold that much.
I`m not saying you`re a slut but you`re dirtier than my browser history.
"How about if I put a balloon over it? Would you touch it then?" -guy who invented condoms
People are always gonna talk about you, so you might as well give them something good to say.
My dad always used to say, "The sky`s the limit!" Which is probably why he got fired from his job at NASA.
Not to brag, but my bathroom floor is so clean I can sleep on it. Apparently.
1st woman on the Moon.. Houston we have a problem What? Never mind What`s the problem? Nothing Please tell us? You know what the problem is.
A third zebra strolls casually while whistling and pretending to read a newspaper onto Noah`s ark.
Sometimes when my phones at 5% battery life I call back all the people I didn`t want to talk too.
I can`t seem to convince these dogs & cats that I don`t need their assistance in the bathroom.
I am really getting tired of every time I go out people use me for my body. You know, to shade them from the sun and all.
Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Ms. Pacman, for 25 cents that b*tch swallowed balls till she died.
Driving a Dodge doesn`t automatically make you a defensive driver.