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I love my work, but I would also love to never have to do it again.
Wow! it`s late.. I need to hit the sack........ Then go to bed.
I used to wonder what it was like to read people’s minds. Then I got a Facebook account and I got over it.
After a while you just get used to people not understanding.
Every fork at your favorite restaurant has been in 100`s of strangers` mouths
You ever make fun of someone so much, you think you should thank them for all the good times you’ve had?
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
buying an old Mercedes Benz so that people may think you have been rich all along
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
I love finding money in my clothes. It’s like a gift to me ... from me.
What idiot decided it should be my foot`s asleep instead of coma toes?
We can land a rover on an asteroid, but they can`t make a can of shaving cream that doesn`t spill 1/10th of it`s contents after every use.
The only time that my wife screams my name in bed is when I fart in my sleep.
Iam not as THINK as you DRUNK iam!!
Women are like bacon: they look good, they smell good, they taste good, and they will slowly kill you