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They might want to put a picture of that airplane on a milk carton.
Remember they’re just as afraid of seeing you dance as you are of dancing.
If you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 3 or 4 births before they throw you out.
If you could have all of Bill Gates` money or world peace, what colour would your Lamborghini be?
"The Ugly Duckling" has a great message. Everything in life will work itself out once you become physically attractive.
I`ve learned to take life as it comes...straight with no chaser.....
Nothing says "I dont take you seriously" like your dog wagging his tail when you`re yelling at him.
I commend any woman for going into labor outside a hospital setting. If I have to poop anywhere besides my own bathroom I go into panic mode
Summer is almost over...All you half-naked people are gonna need to find a personality.
He said the spark between us was gone..so I tasered him..... Ill ask him again when he wakes up
Oh, you have a brand new boyfriend? Please tell me more about how you think he`s `the one`.
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
Sorry I`m late, I didnt want to come
Johnny : Pull my finger Tommy : No Johnny: "Come Bro Do IT!!" Tommy : fine ... Johnny : *SNEEZE IN THE FACE*
I just did a weeks worth of cardio after I walked into a spider`s web.