Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It’s ok if you don’t agree with me. I can’t force you to be right.
This liquor store needs a dollar menu.
I appreciate your help, but no thanks, I can f*ck up my life on my own.
Screw you, regular cars that look like police cars. Also vice versa.
You guys remember back before Google when we would just sit around and wonder about sh!t ...?
I assume people with dark tinted windows pick their nose more aggressively than the rest of us.
You are here: X
Anyone else sit on the toilet and play with their phone until you realized you have been finished 10 minutes ago?
Dear ladies, Not trying to impress you or anything, but I make my own sandwiches.
It would serve me better if they put shopping carts in the middle of the store where my pride realizes I have too much sh!t to carry.
I’m back on my feet again!! Wait, false alarm the remote is right here.
Dude, I see you are enjoying a cold Bud Light Lime-a-Rita .... I`m going to assume that`s your smart car parked outside.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.
Talking bout planets with my 8 yr old. He asked if you can just plow thru Uranus because it`s all gas. I cannot respond maturely.
The awkward moment when someone deletes their comment on facebook and you look like you’re talking to yourself.