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Girls become instant best friends when they find out they hate the same people.
Today`s big idea - Coffee eye drops
During the summer months, be sure to dress for the body you have. Not the body you want.
Why didn`t Spider-Man`s enemies just move to a city without skyscrapers?
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don’t know, and I don’t care.
The next time there`s an awkward silence, try whispering, "Did you forget your line?"
If I had to describe myself in one word it would be “doesn’t know how to follow directions.”
Who named them veterinarians and not "dogtors"?
I don`t need a personal trainer as much as I need someone to follow me around and slap unhealthy food out of my hands.
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
You never know how dirty a song’s lyrics are…until you hear a child sing them.
If I haven’t embarrassed myself in front of you… don’t worry, it’ll happen.
Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? i bet hes not laughing out loud
The toughest part of a lesbian relationship is deciding who gets to be the one who`s always right.
Im switching some friends from my Facebook account to my Fakebook account.