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According to a recent study 52% of women have used vibrators....I`m guessing the other 48% have new ones?
When I die, I don`t want to go sober...
Shout out to Pringles for never giving us a half can of air.
I`ll take "who the f*ck would know that" for $600, Alex.
Starting to believe I`m trouble
Alcohol and calculus don’t mix… Don’t drink and derive!
I`m drinking like there`s snow tomorrow.
Sometimes I just wish people were as easy to forget as PIN numbers.
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
if ever you need NOTHING, im here for you.
Facebook should just change it`s name to "People You May Want to Avoid."
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
If being lazy paid, damn dude I must be a billionaire.
Every member of my family is polite & courteous which I why our pantry has 17 boxes of cookies that contain exactly one remaining cookie
Hysterical Shrieking should be reserved for truly serious situations such as Centipedes, Spiders, and that Creepy Uncle that likes to give everyone back rubs.....