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Taco Bell is donating burritos to feed firefighters in Colorado. Talk about putting gas on the fire,
Breaking News: Tuesdays suck just as much as Mondays.
If it`s true that opposites attract, I should be looking for someone that gets up early and does stuff
The guy who decided how to spell bologna was clearly in over his head.
Halloween is the perfect time to redistribute those undesired condiment packets of ketchup, mustard, BBQ & soy sauce.
My pessimism has never failed me, but I`m sure someday it will.
Is it just me or doesn`t anyone disappear in the Bermuda triangle anymore?
I heard Disney bought and are relocating the White House to Disneyland. They Say, it will be the new Center Piece of FANTASY LAND.
75% of my current net worth is in gift cards.
I`m not sure but I think the family from Honey Boo Boo is just a family of bears that were shaved down and shown how to sh!t indoors.
Last time I saw jugs that big, 2 hillbillies were blowing on them.
CONGRATULATIONS! You are the 13th woman he`s called "beautiful" on Facebook today.
What if your soulmate is over there on Twitter while you`re here on Facebook?
Living out of your car isn`t so bad if you keep telling yourself you`re "on tour"
To all the students who drop out of high school: Remember two things, 1) You tried your best. 2) I don`t like pickles on my BigMac.