Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
It only takes a few seconds to show someone how you feel about them......the police call it indecent exposure but whatever.
I like to dump Skittles in the toilet and then flush it because it looks like a little tiny NASCAR race.
I may have just inadvertently accomplished something.
Do you ever notice that when you´re driving, anyone going slower than you is an idiot and everyone driving faster than you is a maniac?
Good job with the heavy sighs, guy behind me, that should definitely help speed up the line.
It`s all fun and games until the cops show up.
I had a blind date once, her name was ..::..::.:::::…:::::
I’ve made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.
When she says she`s madly in love with you, concentrate more on the word madness.
Saying that your company has been in business since the 1800`s isn`t a selling point. Slavery existed then too...
She said she was stripping to feed her kids but then got pissed when I started throwing canned goods at her
just wanted to tell the weekend that I love you and I will be back, I will not let the weekdays take me away from you.
Decided to get in touch with my feminine side today... I made myself a sandwich!
if your looking for love sorry to disappoint you im already in a relationship with fun and freedom. :-)
When I was a kid, there was no Internet. Sometimes people would walk for miles to call me a bastard.