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The only correct answer to "Are you ticklish?" is "I have explosive diarrhea right now,"
I remember, once upon a time... for about 2 seconds... about 13 years ago... I almost gave a damn.
Given the places I`ve had my tongue, no we cannot "just be friends".
You will attract attention if wearing a skirt on a windy day. This is doubly true if you are a man.
If you`re a girl and you drink Vodka... there`s a high probability, I love you.
I think Facebook is the Malaysian plane of the internet. No one on here has been seen by their family in weeks.
Sometimes I like to take a roll of duct tape and use it to cover up all the Mondays on my desk calendar.
If Facebook changed "poke" to "stab" I would use it all the time.
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
My kids are always accusing me of having a favorite child which is ridiculous because I don`t really like any of them.
I don`t know about you....but I have thought about running away from home way more as an adult than I ever did as a kid.
You always remember your first Crush. Mine was Orange.
I bet you can`t keep the funny and not funny the same number.
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
"I`ve had so much coffee, I got halfway to work and realized I forgot my car."