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Urban Dictionary: Helping white folks figure out if they`re getting insulted or complimented daily.
Unless you fell off the treadmill and smacked your face, nobody wants to hear about your workout.
Friday is like a superhero that always arrives just in time to prevent me from savagely beating my coworkers with a keyboard.
Why are there never any good side effects? Just once I`d like to read a prescription bottle that says, "May cause extreme sexiness."
When hipsters replaced hippies, we lost free love and drugs and got skinny jeans. Worst. Trade. Ever.
If you lick the frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin, muffins are healthy :) your welcome.
I have a kid in Africa I inoculate, feed, clothe and send to school for only $1 day. It cost a lot to send him over there though.
Bring a hedgehog into the library and frantically ask the clerks where they keep the reverse spell casting books.
I like how the nice people of Sesame Street all know that Oscar the Grouch lives in that can, and yet they still stuff their trash into it.
Due to no supervision and sheer lack of self control; I sincerely with GREAT guilt! Here now inform you. I ate your banana split
Me: I`m hungry. Fridge: I don`t give a sh*t. Cabinet: B*tch, don`t look at me. Freezer: Lol, you like ice? :-)
So apparently airport security doesn`t like it when you call shotgun before boarding a plane.
We are best friends. Always remember that if you fall, I will pick you up… After I finish laughing.
When I finish eating something I have to show my hands to the dog like I`m a blackjack dealer...
If we all had to wear a warning label, what would yours say?