Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
You can tell a guy has a woman in his life when he remembers to do stuff like put on deodorant and wipe his butt most of the time!
This is my Facebook status. There are many like it but this one is mine.
My son and his friends are great ... They always spray the house with air freshener before I get home.
If she can cook like her mother and drink like her father, she`s a keeper.
169 is still a sex position, but with a creepy guy watching.
I miss being the age when I thought I would have my sh!t together by the age I am now.
The whole purpose of vacationing is to make you appreciate knowing where the channels are at home.
You`re about 8 beers away from being my type.
GF: "You`re cute when you`re drunk" Me: "You`re cute when I`m drunk too"
I saw a baby wearing a bib that said, “This dumbass put my cape on backwards”
A tattoo doesn’t tell you very much about a person, but where they put the tattoo does.
I’m on a forgotten-name basis with quite a lot of people.
Better to be incredibly weird than incredibly boring.
Clearly if you have to blame yourself, you`re not hanging out with enough people.
People who say they suffer from constipation are usually full of sh!t.