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The pill is the second best thing women can put in their mouths to prevent pregnancy.
I bet sex is great when I`m not the only one in the room.
Whenever I see people doing sign language, I assume they are discussing the best way to murder the rest of us and steal our ears.
Now that football season is here, if anyone`s favorite team loses, they can just blame it on Trump.
I replaced the spare tire in my car with a box of wine. I`ve no idea how to change a tire, & I bet I`ll need a drink as I wait for a ride.
I enjoy planting sex toys at yard sales in nice neighborhoods, then sit back to watch the magic unfold.
Cop: Do you know why I pulled you over? Me: To propagate authoritarianism and generate revenue for the state? Cop: ...
If I drank, I`d have a lot funnier status updates on Facebook than I do now. Well, at least I`d think they were funnier.
How about a cooking show called "Cookin crap in the Microwave".
There is a gym called Anytime Fitness. I choose 2030.
I`m surrounded by sex addicts & alcoholics. So glad I found y`all.
When I`m cleaning my room, 1% cleaning 29% moaning 70% playing with stuff I just found.
I like to say my kid handles funds for a multi-billion dollar corporation. It`s easier than saying he is a cashier at McDonald`s
What is it about a car that makes people think we can`t see them pick their nose?
You´re just jealous because the voices are talking to me and not you!