Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Everything you paid $50,000 to learn in college is now on the Internet for free.
I started to question my sanity this morning, It told me to "Shut up and chew through the straps....). I was free by noon......Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people`s funerals.
The Swiss must`ve been pretty confident in their chances of victory if they included a corkscrew in their army knife.
We are the only ones who can control our own happiness, but sometimes it feels like someone else is holding the remote.
“But I read somewhere…” -me about to make some sh!t up.
Apparently, I`m the only one that wants to drink beer at this intervention.
Irony: Asking God to help you on a science exam.
If I ever win the lottery and someone asks me for money I`m going to give them a dollar and say "Here. Go play the Lottery. That`s what I did."
Why did they send me to this white room? Do they think I`m crazy? Do they think I`m ...HOLY CRAP THE WALLS ARE FLUFFY!!!
The trouble with being punctual is that nobody is there to appreciate it.
People say laughter is the best medicine, but I’d like to think a beer is the way to go.
people say nobody`s perfect..i made nobody!..
Lazy Rule: If you spill water, It will eventually dry.
You know you’re a mom, when someone says they have a stomach ache and you ask if they pooped today.