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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I have just one word for beautiful women with questionable morals, poor decision making skills and an insatiable sex drive ..."Hi"
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
Ok advertisers, for the last time. I’m playing a game I downloaded for free. So, the fact that you chose to advertise here means your product is grossly overpriced…
I`m hosting a wine tasting event in my home. Well, it`s not really an event. It`s just me and three bottles of wine. No one else is invited.
The path to inner peace begins with 3 simple words....Not my problem.
If I had a dollar for everytime I was distracted, look squirrel!
Go to O`Reilly Auto Parts website and type, `121G` in the search bar.
Has marriage been on Mythbusters yet?
Note to Self: In future interviews, don`t say "Safe in your strong arms" when the employer asks where I see myself in 5 years.
I just googled "Is there really cowbell in the actual song Don`t Fear the Reaper?" and my first response was, "Go outside and do something."
Sometimes, I question my sanity ... Sometimes, it replies
I just realized that Mr. Rogers had the first man-cave.
I`m on my 5th coffee, just in case you`re wondering about the "other way" to get to Narnia .
just spilled alphabet soup on my keyboard. I`m so confused
I just want to be rich enough to pay people to not talk to me.