Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Can`t dance? Spell your name....in the air...with your butt. BOOM! Next problem...
I just made you think of an elephant
If you don’t want to marry me, why did you sit next to me on this bus?
As if " cray cray" wasn`t irritating enough, people have started shortening it to " cray"....that`s just stu stu
Any person can be nice to my face, but it takes a real friend to be nice behind my back.
I told my family that I never want to live in a vegetative state, dependent on some machine and fluids from a bottle…So, they got up, unplugged my computer, and threw out my wine.
I`m bored, I think I`ll ask my boyfriend if I look fat. - women
I hate when homesless people shake their cup of coins at me. It`s like yeah I know you have more money than me, no need to rub it in.
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
If you can´t convince them, confuse them.
Don`t you just love it when you see someone who is photogenic, looks perfect in every picture but then when you see them in person you`re like EURGH God Damn! What happened to you in the last 24h!
Irony. The opposite of wrinkly.
"Are u going to the circus?" is a perfectly good sentence when not used as a follow-up 2 your wife`s question: "how does my make-up look?"
If you love something, set it free. Maybe not dogs with rabies though. Or killer bees or pretty much any domesticated animal into the wild. Lots of stuff really. Look, the point is don`t love anything.
Does this floor I’m laying on make me look unmotivated?