Daily Silly Status

Let`s sleep in until it`s time to go to bed again

I`m not really your friend until I start insulting you on a daily basis.

I got all my Christmas shopping done. Hope everyone likes bunny ears, ornamental grass, and discounted peeps.

My brother took going to jail really badly. He refused food, drinks. He spat and swore at anyone who came near him and started throwing things everywhere. After that we NEVER played monopoly again.

It must be hard to judge a wet t-shirt contest. I saw one recently and all the t-shirts looked equally wet.

Simply amazing how one word spoils the whole sentence: I’m getting laid.....off.

Dear facebook, please quit asking me what`s on my mind. Eventually I`m going to get in trouble if I keep telling you.

Of all the martial arts, Karaoke inflicts the most pain.

I`m gonna surprise my hand with some sex tonight!

is cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

Start each day with a positive thought like, "I can go back to bed in about 17 short hours."

"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo

Confession #156: I always prepare myself before stepping on the escalator

Don`t Follow Me, I`m Lost Too

I would tell you to go to he!! but all dogs go to heaven.