Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My boss said we needed to find ways to save time and be more productive, so I just moved the coffee maker to my desk
Word on the street is... Lol. Jk. I don`t go outside.
When a bird bangs into your window, do you wonder if God is playing angry birds
I´m (insert your name) BITCHES!!!! Deal with that.
I love you more than I hate everyone else.
He is proud of himself. He finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said 2-4 years.
"Karate" is an old Japanese word that means, "My kid can`t hit a baseball."
Slow dancing with a fat girl? More like moving a fridge by yourself.
You don’t have to be naked to have a good time, but it helps.
I need a leaf blower, but for people.
"Everything else tastes like us. Why do we need to die?" -chickens
Make yourself indispensable at work by hiding everything.
It`s normally a combination of things that cause bad decisions. The tequila, lime, salt combination is the most common.
I`ve discovered two things today... 1. My cat looks so cute in people clothes. 2. I`m probably going to die alone.
I dont care how you live your life, so just let me live mine. Yeah whatever.