Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
A mate of mine recently admitted to being addicted to brake fluid. When i quized him on it, he reckoned he could stop aaaany time . . . .
There`s no easy way to tell someone you lost their kid in a high stakes game of duck duck goose.
Phones are getting smarter and thinner. People, not so much.
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
Ladies, don`t say that men never listen... We can tell you every word of what was said during an NFL pregame or in-game broadcast.
A house is not a home until you can find all light switches in the dark.
I am not as think as you drunk I am
Story of my life : 1. i wake up .... 2. i go to school.... 3. i see a girl .... 4. i run to her and kiss her.... Actually, the right order is 2,3,4,1 ..
Due to Global Warming Santa will be giving out Solar Panels to all the naughty kids this year!
I am really thankful that I have a desk job. I could never get all my personal stuff done at home.
If you`re behind someone at an ATM at night, let them know you`re not a threat by gently kissing their neck.
I wonder if New York people find it weird to watch their own city being destroyed in Hollywood movies so many times..!!
My Superpower is eating 5 times the "suggested serving" size.
You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Ok ... I just had a talk with myself, and it did not go well. Now I`m grounded.