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To be truthful,,, I have never unrolled a sleeping bag and been able to roll it back up any smaller than the size of a garage.
I`ve just borrowed a book on surgery from my local library. Apparently someone`s taken the appendix out.
It`s kind of funny how so many people think that being gay is a choice but being fat isn`t
Don`t hate me because I think I`m beautiful.
Wanted: Magic hat for a snowman
My high school girlfriend got "uses her kids as her facebook profile picture" fat.
If you feel down because you had a bad day! Chin up! Tomorrow is another day and the worst has yet to come!
I hate it when 18 wheelers blow their horns while Im driving, that sh*t wakes me up!
I`ll just admire you from afar.. Or 500ft. That`s what this paper says.
I totally understand how batteries feel because I`m never included in things either
Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
I`m just saying it might be a good idea for Liam Neeson`s to take his family members to the vet and get them microchipped.
You`ll notice you never see sweatpants with "Classy" written across the butt.
If it`s any consolation, your Doppelganger is probably having a really awesome day.
Ever notice how many friends you have when you pull out a pack of gum?