Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My internet was down for almost 4 mins, I’m ok but the 911 operator was a total b!tch about it!
Facebook is like Chinese food. When you think you had enough, you want more.
I`m only a morning person on December 25th
"I guess you`re right." - No one on the internet ever
Todays hot tip: Boomerangs and Attention Deficit Disorder don`t mix.
When one door closes and another one opens, your house is probably haunted.....
If someone posts a picture of their kid on Facebook making a stupid face, I like to comment with, "Oh, NOW I see the resemblance!"
Sociologists say that social media is creating the laziest generation ever. I expressed my opinion in great detail by hitting the “Like” button.
Wanna try something funny? Go to a bank and yell "NOBODY MOVE..(Scary pause)..I lost a contact lens."
Before Instagram, I used to waste so much time sitting around having to imagine what my friends` food looked like.
yes I have a dirty mind, and yes you are in it...
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
The key to my heart is shaped like a bottle opener.
Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer is my favorite story about how you will get treated like CRAP ... until you have something someone else needs
It`s 2013. With all the hormones in food and advances in medical technology, why are there still girls with less than C cup boobs?